Why Avoidants Flinch at Boundaries (Even When They Crave Connection)

Sharing the psychological insight to their inner world and how to get unstuck

Let’s start with an unpopular truth:
Not everyone welcomes healthy boundaries, especially not the ones who need them the most.

In fact, the more someone struggles with emotional intimacy, the more they’ll misinterpret your boundary as a betrayal.

This is especially true for people with an avoidant attachment style, those who keep you at arm’s length just enough to feel “safe,” but close enough to avoid full disconnection.

And if you’ve ever tried to set a clear boundary with someone like that and were met with withdrawal, sarcasm, defensiveness, or outright silence, you’re not imagining it.

You’ve simply stumbled into their most protected territory: autonomy.

Let’s talk about why boundaries feel threatening to avoidant individuals and what it really says about their inner world.

In this sub, we are going to share the psychological insight on 11 ways avoidants cringe when it comes to boundaries. And if you are involved with someone who is avoidant and feel hopeless, I’m here to tell change is possible.

I’ve lived it. I’ve experienced it multiple times. I can tell you things can get better once you understand their inner world and the types of boundaries that work on bringing an avoidant closer.